Holding Onto Grace: Finding Pockets of Peace in Dementia Caregiving

The Unexpected Storms

My sweet mom, Marie, is currently in the early stages of dementia. For the most part, she is wonderfully independent and still does so much for herself. But just recently, we walked through two sharp episodes of forgetfulness that truly shook and upset her and shook our family’s routine.

We had just returned home from a beautiful family gathering in Ohio to celebrate the birth of my 8th grandchild Andrew Dustin, my grandson Owen’s High School graduation, my granddaughter Juliette’s 12th and granddaughter Jade’s 7th birthday. It was a long ride back home to Florida, and shortly after we settled in, my oldest granddaughter, Breelyn, called to ask for our address. She is planning to drive down to visit us for my mom’s upcoming 85th birthday on July 5th! In that quiet moment, Mom suddenly couldn’t remember the name of the city we live in. Realizing she forgot caused her anxiety to skyrocket, leaving her deeply upset.

Just the day before that, she went to reorder her diabetic sensors. She was down to her very last one, which already had her on edge. As she sat down to make the call, she realized she had completely forgotten the phone number she always uses. I watched the frustration and anxiety build up inside her as she searched and searched without success.

Those two days were a massive wake-up call for my sister and me. We realized we needed to gather all of Mom’s important information—doctor names, medications, and vital phone numbers—and organize them in one clear place. Thankfully, my sister Janet is exceptionally talented in this area and jumped right in suggesting she make a master Excel spreadsheet. I truly don’t know what I would do without Janet’s constant help, support, and shared love for our mom.

When these sudden storms hit, it is incredibly easy for our own caregiver souls to become depleted by the sheer weight of the worry. But I have learned that while we cannot stop the progression of the disease, God promises to meet us right in the middle of the storm. We don’t need hours of uninterrupted free time to restore our spirits. Instead, we can look for tiny, intentional “pockets of peace” scattered throughout the day.

Finding Peace in the Pockets

If you are navigating these stressful early hurdles with a loved one today, here are three gentle ways to find a breath of fresh air right where you are:

Step Onto the Porch: When the anxiety inside the house feels heavy, step outside onto the porch for just two minutes. Close your eyes, feel the warm Florida sun on your face, and listen to the birds. Nature doesn’t ask anything of you; it simply reminds you of a Creator who holds your family in His hands.
Embrace the Art of the Present: Dementia often strips away the past and the future, forcing us into the absolute present. Try to find joy in a single, simple moment. Holding Mom’s hand when she is anxious, laughing together at a silly memory, or sharing a glass of lavender sun tea can become a beautiful sanctuary of quiet connection.
Whisper a Breath Prayer: You don’t need a long, eloquent prayer when you are exhausted or watching a loved one struggle. A simple breath prayer, repeated silently as you walk down the hallway, can anchor your heart. Try breathing in, “Lord, give me Your patience,” and breathing out, “I rest in Your strength.”

The Caregiver’s Blessing

There is a beautiful verse in Matthew 11:28 where Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” He doesn’t say we have to have it all together first. He just asks us to come.

If your boots are muddy today, your kitchen is messy, and your heart feels a little bit broken from watching the effects of time on your loved one—know that God is using your everyday, unseen acts of love to show His grace to the world. You, Janet, and caregivers everywhere are doing a sacred, beautiful job.

Let’s Chat on the Porch!

To my fellow caregivers, I would love to uplift you today. Leave a comment below so I can pray for you by name. How do you manage the sudden anxiety spikes when your loved one experiences a moment of forgetfulness?